"Parenting with Fewer Regrets"
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Personal Parenting Regrets
Introduce Series - We’re going to take 4 weeks and look at the life of a guy who I’m pretty sure most of us have, at least, heard of - Samson. We know Samson as the really strong guy with long hair who - to his own detriment - got tied up with a woman named Delilah. Now, that’s true, but Samson could have been (key word “could”) so much more than that. In fact, there’s a verse that sets the tone for this whole series - one we’re going to come back to over & over:
for behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. No razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb, and he shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.”
Notice that one little subtle word, “begin.” In other words, Samson wouldn’t save the Israelites from the Philistines, he would just “begin” to do so. Samson’s story is one of the most tragic in the Bible because he lived an INCOMPLETE LIFE. So, we’re going to take a few weeks and look at what derailed him - what hazards there are for us — as we pursue a life of fewer regrets - a complete life.
This morning, we’re going to start at the beginning with Samson’s parents.
And the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord gave them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years.
There was a certain man of Zorah, of the tribe of the Danites, whose name was Manoah. And his wife was barren and had no children.
And the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Behold, you are barren and have not borne children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Therefore be careful and drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean,
for behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. No razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb, and he shall begin to save Israel from the hand of the Philistines.” Then the woman came and told her husband, “A man of God came to me, and his appearance was like the appearance of the angel of God, very awesome. I did not ask him where he was from, and he did not tell me his name,
but he said to me, ‘Behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. So then drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.’ ”
Then Manoah prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord, please let the man of God whom you sent come again to us and teach us what we are to do with the child who will be born.”
And God listened to the voice of Manoah, and the angel of God came again to the woman as she sat in the field. But Manoah her husband was not with her. So the woman ran quickly and told her husband, “Behold, the man who came to me the other day has appeared to me.”
And Manoah arose and went after his wife and came to the man and said to him, “Are you the man who spoke to this woman?” And he said, “I am.” And Manoah said, “Now when your words come true, what is to be the child’s manner of life, and what is his mission?”
And the angel of the Lord said to Manoah, “Of all that I said to the woman let her be careful. She may not eat of anything that comes from the vine, neither let her drink wine or strong drink, or eat any unclean thing. All that I commanded her let her observe.”
Manoah said to the angel of the Lord, “Please let us detain you and prepare a young goat for you.”
Embrace the weight of responsibility.
Embrace the weight of responsibility.
Look again at vs. 1, here. This was an extremely difficult time to raise kids. This is probably not the culture you even wanted to attempt to bring a child into! It was pagan, it was Godless, it was corrupt, in fact, later in Judges as we saw last summer, the basis for morality in Israel was whatever an individual decided. What is right for me is right for me! This was a culture of moral relativity. No right or wrong…just whatever you decide. The people who claimed they loved and worshipped God were giving themselves to other gods…they were what we would consider “Cultural Christians.” The things of God are only important to me when they benefit me. I’ll just pay lip service instead of life service.
So, God’s desire was to raise up a leader within this pagan, Godless culture, someone who would lead a revival, someone who would lead a spiritual awakening and bring God’s people back to him!
You know, King Solomon understood this…
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Samson was a SPECIAL CHILD - Manoah’s wife was barren…it was impossible for her to have kids (physically speaking).
Is your child special? You better believe it! , again, says that children are a heritage from the Lord. That word, in Hebrew, means “inheritance.” An inheritance is something received…you have been given your children BY God. They’re HIS.
“Children are God’s possession for his purpose. That means that his plan for parents is that we would be his agents in the lives of these ones that have been formed into his image and entrusted to our care.”
“Children are God’s possession for his purpose. That means that his plan for parents is that we would be his agents in the lives of these ones that have been formed into his image and entrusted to our care.”
Samson had a SPECIAL CALL - God’s hand would be on this boy…God had special plans for him!
Again, they’re GOD’S! Not YOURS!
Embrace the role of influencer.
Embrace the role of influencer.
God had a special call on Samson’s life…he was to be holy. That’s what the word Nazarite means. It comes from the Hebrew word, “nazir,” meaning “set apart for a special purpose.” God’s plan for Samson was that he would be set apart for HIS purposes and HIS ways. That’s why God gave them the stipulations that he was to stay away from alcohol, impurity, that he was never to cut his hair. Again, he was to live a set apart/holy life in order to be used for God’s purposes and plans. The angel even gives Manoah’s wife these same stipulations to live by. It wasn’t just that Samson was to be TOLD that he was to live a certain way…he was to SEE IT modeled and lived out at home!
Here’s what I want you to understand: Parents, you are the single greatest influence in your child’s life. What they see you value, they will value. We like the whole “do as I say, not as I do” mentality but guess what…it just doesn’t work like that. It’s the power of learned behavior.
Parents, it means NOTHING if you tell your kids they should read the Bible if they don’t see you reading your bible....(serving, loving {Billy}, marriage, etc.).
CHURCH ATTENDANCE - BABYLON BEE
Fullerton, CA—Local father Trevor Michelson, 48, and his wife Kerri, 45, are reeling after discovering that after 12 years of steadily taking their daughter Janie to church every Sunday they didn’t have a more pressing sporting commitment—which was at least once every three months—she no longer demonstrates the strong quarterly commitment to the faith they raised her with, now that she is college-aged.
Trevor Michelson was simply stunned at the revelation. “I just don’t understand it. Almost every single time there was a rained-out game, or a break between school and club team seasons, we had Janie in church. It was at least once per quarter. And aside from the one tournament in 2011, we never missed an Easter. It was obviously a priority in our family—I just don’t get where her spiritual apathy is coming from.”
“I can’t tell you how often we prayed the prayer of Jabez on the way to a game,” added Janie’s mother.
“You know, the more I think about it, the more this illustrates how the church just keeps failing this generation,” lamented Trevor, citing a recently-googled study by Barna or someone.
The Michelsons further noted plans to have a chat with the pastor of their church after their younger son Robert’s soccer season calms down a bit.
…Particularly Dads...Swiss researchers discovered that if Dad faithfully attends church, even though Mom doesn’t, kids are still 44 percent more likely to keep going to church as adults. But if Mom goes regularly and Dad never shows up, only 2 percent of the kids continue to attend. That’s a very big gap, and a telling sign of why the father’s influence is so significant.
Former Hollywood bad boy Martin Sheen says watching his son, Charlie Sheen, lead a similarly decadent life fills him with remorse. He worries that he learned to be a father too late. He particularly regrets his failure to share his faith. “I never lost my faith,” Sheen says. “But I felt for a time that I had outgrown the church. Now it is a bone of contention in my soul that I did not share my faith with my kids, as my parents did with me. It was a source of grace when I needed it. I have been greatly nurtured and inspired by my faith.”
Listen, now, the role of influencer is also that of protector…WATER FILTER.
Embrace the reality of my inability.
Embrace the reality of my inability.
Look, again, at vs. 8 - “let the man of God come and teach us.”
You and I CAN’T do this. That sounds crazy. I’ve just told you what we should be doing and now I’m tell you that you can’t do it!
God has given me the gift of the Holy Spirit.
2. God has given me the gift of the Church.
In 1904 William Borden graduated from a Chicago high school. As heir to the Borden Dairy estate, he was already a millionaire. For his high school graduation present, his parents gave him a trip around the world. As the young man traveled through Asia, the Middle East, and Europe, he felt a growing burden for the world's hurting people. Finally, Borden wrote home to say, "I'm going to give my life to prepare for the mission field." At the same time, he wrote two words in the back of his Bible: "No reserves."
Indeed, Borden held nothing back. During his college years at Yale University, he became a pillar in the Christian community. One entry in his personal journal that defined the source of his spiritual strength simply said: "Say no to self and yes to Jesus every time."
During his first semester at Yale, Borden started a small prayer group that would transform campus life. This little group gave birth to a movement that spread across the campus. By the end of his first year, 150 freshmen were meeting for weekly Bible study and prayer. By the time Bill Borden was a senior, 1,000 of Yale's 1,300 students were meeting in such groups.
Borden also strategized with his fellow Christians to make sure every student on campus heard the gospel, and he was often seen ministering to the downtrodden in the streets of New Haven. But his real passion was missions. Once he narrowed his missionary call to the Kansu people in China, Borden never wavered.
Upon graduation from Yale, Borden wrote two more words in the back of his Bible: "No retreats." In keeping with that commitment, Borden turned down several high-paying job offers, enrolling in seminary instead. After graduating, he immediately went to Egypt to learn Arabic because of his intent to work with Muslims in China. While in Egypt, he contracted spinal meningitis. Within a month, 25-year-old William Borden was dead.
Prior to his death, Borden had written two more words in his Bible. Underneath the words "No reserves" and "No retreats," he had written: "No regrets."